Every time I think about love, it always follows with the persona of Joe D Mango. You may think who this person behind that voice. Oh yes, he is indeed a disc jockey. His profile is not actually available anywhere, I don’t have any idea when did he start his career as DJ. However, he is very famous when it comes to advices about love. He was our doctor love. I’ve been his avid fan every since. Until he got a TV program called Love Notes, it aired for many years but like any other programs it also lasted. Therefore, he continues his career in giving love advices from one radio station with another radio station. Until I lost track, I no longer could not find him. I could not trace him where is he now. Since, I’ve been his avid fan I’ve also collected a few of his love notes and advices. I would like to share it with you guys, This would be a series of love stories from every where in the corner. Hope you will like it. Enjoy reading.
Love Notes = The Test of Love
I am a regular listener of your lovenotes program in TM. I love hearing your chosen stories and inspiring advises, but it never occurred to me that one day, i'll be writing my own story to you.
I am a 22 year old lady working in one of the biggest firms here in Makati. I can say that I'm contented with my life, I have a very supportive family, good job, good looks and I'm about to get married. Brad and I were engaged a year ago and are scheduled to get married on September this year. What I thought was simple got complicated the day I met Kurt.
I was rushing my way to the office when I suddenly bumped in to a guy in the pedestrian underpass. I did not mind about that bumping, since I really was on a rush, not knowing that i carelessly dropped my wallet. I still am not anxious about it until I reached my desk in the office. I was getting worried, of course, I got my ATM, my Credit card and all my cash in that wallet. I sent my messenger friend to my trails to somehow check for my wallet, though I know, it's impossible that he’ll find it . Lunch time came,an anonymous caller was looking for me. He introduced himself, then asked me out for lunch . I turned him down of course, but he told me he had my wallet and he wants to give it to me personally, so, I agreed. I never thought that event would change my whole life. That lunch out was not the last. I did not notice that hey! we're getting close. He usually calls, pages me sweet nothings, invites me on dates that I never turned down.
Joe, Kurt was irresistible. That closeness has grown into intimacy. Yes, Joe, I gave myself to him... I don’t know what got in to me.. Brad is an ideal boyfriend, I see no faults in him, but Kurt is really different. I tried to hide our affair from Brad, but I didn’t know for how long...Everytime Brad will do sweet things to me, guilt kills me.
But I guess, truth has its way of shining out. Kurt and I was in a movie house when Brad saw us. I can no longer hide from him what's going on between kurt and I since he found us in a bear hug. Brad was speechless. He never said a word, he just walked away. I called after him but he did not look back. I have no face to show him Joe, even to his or my family. Joe, why am I not happy with the ending of our relationship, I was supposed to be relieved by that...Not just guilty, Joe? I wanted to convince myself that everything was just a bad dream..a very bad dream. It's Brad I love and Kurt is just a subject of my feelings. But Brad is nowhere to be found Joe, I often call him up in their house even at his office, I don't know, maybe he's hiding from me, I guess I deserve it.
Two months had passed, my thrill with Kurt suddenly faded and that made him freak out and leave me. He told me he just used me and even boasted to his guy friends that he already got me.
It hurts Joe, I was even thinking about ending my life. I can no longer work. I'm so down. Three months had passed and I was beginning to recover when I bumped into Brad in a shopping mall. Brad looked me deeply in the eyes explaining what I am seeing, a pretty lady with his company. I just turned the other way and never looked back but my heart was breaking. Joe, a taste of my own medicine hurt like hell . I cried and cried Joe, why is it that when I am starting to recover, another situation will come up to pull me down? Why me, Joe? I am still not over him, I still love him Joe, very, very much. What will I do Joe? How can I survive? When I know that the look in his eyes showed me that he still cares? Shall I beg him back? Help me, Joe. Help me find him back. Help me find myself.
I could just imagine how devastating it was for Brad to see his fiancé bear hugging another man in a movie house. I know it took him lot of courage to turn away and not make a scene out of what he saw but it must have felt bitterly painful. Shannon, we all know that marriage should only happen once and once we’re into to it, there is practically no turning back. I believe this is the reason why relationships, especially those that are soon bound to the altar are given the final test. I have encountered a lot of called-off engagements and unrealized weddings because couples realized they were not prepared for many things and responsibilities that marriage entails. Others simply fall out of love and choose to break than make the promise they cannot keep.
Above anything else, the most conclusive test to any relationship bound for marriage is the test for love. God sometimes allows someone to break into the fortress of our seemingly impenetrable and strong commitment to someone and ultimately test our integrity and our faithfulness to the person we have vowed to share our lives with.
Shannon, I know you love Brad more than Kurt but there was just something in Kurt that made you take your chance and play a dangerous game where you have knowingly gambled your very own future. You were attracted to Kurt in a different way and he knew how to get to you. During the time that you were very intimate to him, he became everything that Brad wasn’t. He was part of an adventure that you enjoyed exploring even if you knew it’s deadly risks. Kurt was the test in your relationship . And you failed it. You have loved yourself more than you have loved your relationship and you set your conscience aside to have what you want and enjoy only what you wanted.
There is always a price we have to pay for the wrong we do. Kurt was only after what he can take from you. He never really loved you. All his efforts were just selfishly aimed towards his final goal - to get what he wants when he wanted it. You have fallen victim to his sexual and physical appeal but that was just all he had.
Shannon you have gambled and blundered but this doesn’t mean that you have lost everything. It doesn’t mean that there is nothing that you can start over with. First and foremost, you have to settle the past. Brad deserves an apology . Let him know how sorry you were for hurting his feelings and if losing him made you realize how much you really loved him then make sure he knows that, too. This is where you start off, Shannon with a new life with him, with someone else or just by yourself.
Shannon, we may stumble and hurt those we love but there is no mountain so high that love cannot climb over. There is no sea so wide that it cannot cross. Let us always remember that when there is love there is forgiveness and when there is forgiveness there is a hope for a new life, a new beginning and a promise of a beautiful forever.